yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
