i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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