What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
