No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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