I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
