the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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