I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
