i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
