brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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