...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
