is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
