we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
