I want you more than these girls want KFC
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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