I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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