I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
