Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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