you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
