Kareoke will never be a sober sport
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
