he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
