Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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