i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
