I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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