Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
