You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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