I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
