She's JV to your varsity
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
