It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
