Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
