Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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