Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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