I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
