Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
