This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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