My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
