Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
