just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
