If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
