Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
