i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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