Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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