Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Also, beer. Big fan.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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