What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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