The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
