therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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