I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
