Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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