You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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