He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize