Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
