i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
