She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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