I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
